The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

- 5 The city exempts the Waterfront Renaissance Associates partnership, which wants to build massive trade towers, from a height limitation as part of a settlement of a 2007 lawsuit. And issues a press release to the effect of "The WRA has big huge penises."

0 Sen. Arlen Specter backs Seth Williams, the Democratic nominee for district attorney. "He'll make the best whatever for wherever," says Specter. "Now who's got my back?"

- 1 Two-time Philadelphia Inquirer National Sudoku champion Thomas Snyder loses when he finishes his puzzle first but has two sixes in the same column. "Wait, you mean you're not supposed to just write down random numbers?" asks Snyder. "I guess I've had a really lucky run, then."

- 7 SEPTA leaders will vote on whether to authorize a walkout on Sunday, a day the Phillies and Eagles play. "I think the public will be sympathetic," says union president from deep, deep within his own ass.

+ 4 Fans gather at a Center City Modells where Cliff Lee showcases a new "Unbeleevable" shirt. The crowd is less enthusiastic about his Danskin Leeotard.

0 World Series tickets are listed as high as $25,000 by some brokers. The Yankees buy them all, just 'cause they're expensive.

+ 4 A global search to award the Wolgin International Competition prize, given out by Temple University, yields Philly artist Ryan Trecartin. Then the global search for lunch leads them to Geno's, where they deliberate for hours before settling on cheesesteaks.

+ 1 A Philly-based member of the Pagans Motorcycle Club pleads guilty in a federal indictment against the group. "Yes, OK, I worship false gods," he says. "You'd think knowing the gods were false would preclude all the worshipping, but no."

+ 1 The Phillies are an attractive team, the Daily News says. But fails to Photoshop them into skirts, and that's why they'll never be a world-class paper fuck you New York.

+ 10 Go Phillies!

Total for the week: 7

Last week's total: 5